Its Your Fault She Fakes It

by Nadine Wilson All Woman Writer

Having a woman experience the big 'O' is more often than not the highlight of a man's sexual experience with his partner, so much that having a woman not climax during lovemaking is akin to committing a crime of the highest order. But at least one medical practitioner believes men spend far too much time trying to get to this point, than they do actually enjoying lovemaking with their spouses. As a result, she said, some women just find it easier to fake the whole thing to stroke their men's egos. "I am not saying that women don't like to have orgasms, they do, but to them sometimes it feels like the man is taking it on like a job, like a task, like it is not a part of a spontaneous, intense, passionate moment." Dr Sandra Knight, general practitioner and anti-ageing physician said. "Men even get frustrated or stop and then once the female orgasm is there, then it is like the job is finished." She shared with All Woman. The doctor, who is also chair of the National Family Planning Board, said that while up to 80 per cent of women will not have an orgasm without clitoral stimulation, some men spend far more time than they should searching for the g-spot during lovemaking sessions. "Remember that the g-spot is very difficult to find. You don't want to spend two hours looking for the g-spot. She can't find it, much less you." she advised men. During a recent forum on 'Sexual health and ageing: What older men may still not know about sex', which was organised by the Kiwanis Club of Kingston, the doctor shared several other ways men could please their women in the bedroom. "We enjoy the interaction of it (lovemaking), and we can have a fantastic time without having an orgasm, because you have done everything and you are up and down from head to toe and you have worked your butt off and we appreciate it," she said. But some among the large group of mostly middle-aged men in the audience said they were socialised. to believe that this was the ultimate aim of lovemaking - getting a woman to reach her peak. "Being a man, you feel you have not completed the job until you get her to climax," shared one man from the group. Climaxing, however, is the easy part for women, noted the doctor, since females can achieve this on their own. "Eighty per cent of women will have orgasms by themselves than with a partner, and 60 odd per cent will tell you that they prefer to have it themselves, than with a partner. It is apparently more pleasurable," she shared. "When they do PET (positron emission tomography) scans on females masturbating, the hormonal stimulation is much more intense than with a partner. I don't know what that means, don't interpret it the wrong way, I am just giving you the facts as I get it," she said. Dr Knight also pointed to the fact that while there is a biological function for males ejaculating, sine sperms are released to fertilise eggs for procreation, scientists are still trying to decipher the functions of orgasms for women. "Scientists are still trying to figure out why it exists, because the male orgasm is to propel them to have sex, because they need to procreate. In women, that is not what the orgasm is there for, but nevertheless, we know that it is still enjoyable," she said. "It really has no scientific or evolutionary function. The female orgasm is quite complicated. it is not easy to have, and yes, it is faked at times, but that is your fault. That's because you don't feel happy unless you have appeared to have caused a woman to have an orgasm," she admonished the men. "Orgasms are much more important to you than us, because we can get it without you. That might sound bad, but i am just saying, focus on something else (although) I know you hate the foreplay thing," The doctor had raised the topic during the forum, as a result of increasing complaints from several women who said they were getting the cold shoulder from their men as soon as they reach climax. "It's like the man just turns off, It's like he shuts down because his job is done, mission is accomplished," she said.

Sex Positions

A LOT of Jamaicans and many other people think that the 'backshot' or 'doggystyle' is the best or 'baddest' position there is, and so many people feel that if you do not engage in it, you are a loser, or you are a little boy, or you 'can't handle the ride'. While the 'backshot/doggystyle' is a good sex position, dooing it properly is key. It is a position in which penetration is deeper, and is more likely to cause unwanted damage or hurt to the female, which of course can be a 'mood-killer' and you do not want that. Therefore if you do not know how to perform this position properly, you should try to experiment with other positions or take the time out to practise with your partner. There are many other fun positions also- fun for both the male and female as well, like the under-rated missionary (in Jamaica) possibly because the woman has rather less work compared to that of the male, and Jamaican men likes an active female (generally speaking). However, this sex position, if performed properly can provide a lot of stimulation to the clitoris of the female, which can result in an orgasm for the female. It also allows close contact between partners, and the man can kiss her lips, neck, breasts, pull her hair, whatever she may like. She can also wrap her legs around him bringing them closer together, which results in more stimulation for both. Other positions include the 'cowgirl' (woman on top), the 'reverse cowgirl' (woman on top facing his toes), 'the spoon'(both partners on the side, with the woman's back to the man), and many more. My advice is to experiment with sex positions, and see what suits you and your partner best. Sometimes just going with the flow of your partner may result in something explosive so be open-minded and explore. Note: some positions or sexual activities displayed in pornographic films, may not necessarily suit you and your partner, and in a worse case scenario may cause unwanted harm. However, some of the sexual positions and activities displayed are often quite enjoyable, and so it is up to the discretion of each individual to choose what is good for the benefit of themselves and their partner. here is a post from one of my favourite talk shows Cherry TV, on some positions that these particular women liked: And here is another post with some positions that these particular women did not like: http://youtu.be/SKaqp1tmjAo

Dont be OVERCONFIDENT

A Good tip for a man to be a great lover, is not just to assume that he is the greatest lover, which in fact is the downfall of many men worldwide. Many men go around bragging about the great lovers they are "How they put it on her" and a lot of times if you check with the woman, it is a different story. MEN, YOUR SEXUAL PROWESS IS JUDGED BY THE SATISFACTION OF THE WOMAN. you cannot judge it by yourself, that would be called "Tooting your horn". It is the same thing for women, her prowess his judged by the satisfaction of the man. My advice is to firstly engage in conversion with the lady. Try to find out from her the things she likes and what turns her on. Discuss them with her and try them, tell her what you like also, this can be a very good way to get closer to each other and can even be the start of a healthy sex life. Research the things she likes, they are online, trust me just try to be open-minded, go online look it up, there will be tips in doing it correctly, how to improve your skills on it, whatever it is. Surprise her the next time you have sex. I am sure she will be pleased. The best lovers are surely those who keep themselves abreast with current information about their partners, for how can you satisfy someone if you do not do the things they like? and how can you know what they like if you do not ask? Foreplay. a lot of men do not spend time, or even do not engage in foreplay. foreplay is normally viewed as kissing, and touching, and etc, but foreplay is somewhat limited and stereotyped. foreplay is anything that prepares the other partner for sexual encounters, and sets the atmosphere or breaks the atmosphere for great sex. Many women complain that their male partners pay little or no attention to foreplay, and so lesbians are deemed better lovers, usually because of the amount of 'foreplay like' attention that is given. Many men do not recognize that the more a woman is stimulated to partake in sex, the greater the sexual encounter will be, the more likely it is for her to lose her inhibitions, because she is physically, mentally and emotionally focused on the act of making love. therefore she is more likely to 'get wild' or 'talk dirty' or whatever you like, because she is sold over to your actions. So listen, explore, read, research, be open-minded, be creative, be expressive, respect her body, respect your body, lose inhibitions, have great sex.